after travelling quite a while

Our rural India is such a beautiful proposition. Not only from business point of view, but also from the point of view of a getaway holiday. As I sit in this now lonely Shalimar society of Baroda, I remember the beautiful silence emanating from the environs of SBIRD, Hyderabad. Even there, lot of mosquitoes were there to give us company, and not only that, it had the same weird presence of a rural, dark yet peaceful surroundings. (Oh what a far cry of the ever noisy Mumbai. )
But, whenever we think of ourselves and the turning points that we left behind us, its not the abstract nature that alone occupies the hot seat in our mind. It’s the people that we met along. Its all about people. And as somebody rightly said, “Jaisa desh vaisa bhes”. Like country, like people. People who have never seen mountains will never know the joy of looking at a towering peak of a snow-clad mountain, at every leisurely glance. And people who have never travelled in local trains of Mumbai will never learn the skill of “give and take” with as much acumen as that of Mumbaikars. Its such a grandiose thought to miss it-that change the environment and you will see a changed person. Whenever you find yourself puzzled by the queer nature of anyone, make sure you search his background and his future path. More often than not, you will find the answer in his ecology. As far as I can stretch the meaning of a particular word to include its various possible individual interpretations, I will use the word ecology in a much wider sense, not just to include the geography, history or economy of his region but also to include the kind of values that his culture cherishes. All these factors do make a lot of difference. Of course, in order to grasp the real essence of what I said just now, one needs a bit know-how of the psychological fundamentals, which most of us know. It’s the behavioural school of psychology, which propounds that a person is shaped by his environment. The environment encourages and discourages certain behaviours, and the person in an attempt to patch up with the environment, adjusts himself nicely and snuggly fits into the larger picture. That gives him a sense of belonging. Well, ‘sense of belonging’ is again an epic in itself and we will come back to it later.
So, that’s what happens and lemme tell you -its tough to resist the mould of the society.

Culture shock is a point of relevance in this context. For people who have been moving since long, would know how people change with change in ecology. And that’s the reason why, you will find all kinds of people. Good-bad, beautiful-ugly, intelligent-morons, miser – generous etc. We often idealise people or outrightly criticise them, we either leave them or shudder at the thought of leaving them. People are not your creations to be filled with your colours. They are other’s creations and even though accepting them would be like living out a nightmare, it is best to understand their mould. Not that everyone should thoroughly read reams of papers on the human psyche (and get psychic in the process). But just as we today know all about bacteria and other histopathologic stuff, we should also have a brief yet concrete picture of a human being. And a disastrous picture can lead to disastrous consequences. If we bracket a person,we will only have mud in our hands. Think.

about creative writing

all this fancy about english language had me thinking that one day i too would put up a fancy dress act of english and would have my spectators asking for more. but how much of this belief is fact and how much is imagination? excitement definitely surrounds the majestical English language but its ability to create celebrities like Salman Rushdie, amitav ghosh etc is quite limited. ok, some writings in english do make people sit up and take notice because of its great potential to engage the reader. But, fancying that everyone, using some tricks of trade and some luck, can produce a glittering work in english is not apt. Of course, the scope for creative writing in english is unending and one or two among us may knit a creative display which appeals the reader but the speed with which a notion - that creative writing is always possible by building up your vocabulary and juxtaposing words, themes etc - is spreading, is appalling. Believe me friends, creative writing in English is not that easy. Dont believe those people who sell you ideas on how to become a creative writer. English is much more than just a dress, which can be cut and re-stitched to look like a new dress. Becoming a creative writer or just a writer requires that you have your words in the right place and it is the individual writer who decides that right place. If you let someone else decide that, you may earn money but the joy of creation might fall a bit short of ecstacy.

from gujrat-2

The analysis is fairly complete. After browsing through lots of books and articles on speech anatomy, I have arrived at a largely accurate picture of my disorder. And I am very very happy to say, that I have found the disorder to be manageable. Each day that I spend on observing myself, I find myself getting better..only marginally though.
To call a condition a disorder, is to invite public sympathy and public apathy. I called it a disorder as long as its real nature lay hidden. . Now, I will no longer call it a disorder. I will call it a curable condition.
Alongwith this new interpretation, I will keep with me the fact that however aversive this condition might seem to other people, I have some other qualities which other people might not have. I never say no to work, I never indulge in back-biting, I have a passion for learning new skills and increasing my knowledge base, I always try to be the best, I have an undying hunger for excellence-these are the qualities which have brought me to the State Bank. I may suffer from drawbacks but I have a positive side which is equally important and useful to this society.

The good news is.. the solution to every problem is in sight. I jst have to keep smiling. And now I have deepali with me whom I deeply love and who is enough of an inspiration for me.
I jst pray I can be a good lover.. love and get loved.

from gujarat

hi guys.. i am in gujarat.
nice city..cant say anything about the rest of the state. anand is the place where i stay. not much different from my homestate. the only conspicuous difference is, here the state government is not debt-ridden and there is absolutely no dearth of water and electricity_use it as much as you like.
i am trying to identify myself as one among the rest.i came here with an intention to find out who am i..or, to be precise...what am i worth..am i worth anything or am i worth nothing? am i just worth the life of a dog..or am i worth every bit of happiness that comes everybody's way?
u wont believe..ihad friends, i had a good academic life (i am still proud to be a topper of my college) i had dreams etc..bt i was still leading a dog's life inside..deep inside. Sometimes, in case of some people, emotions, memories and interpretations about their life, bog them down. Bt in my case, i was bogged down not because any thought infiltered my mind but because a serious physiological abnormality kept me down and out everytime. If i ask my closest friends today, whther deepak to them is same as everybody else? After much coaxing they might say.. deepak was slightly not like the rest.
Now, i know and now u all guys know why i am not like the rest. Sadly, no one else knows as much abt my struggle with my body as i do. and this makes my life all the more dog-like.
I would love to be an extrovert, i would love to shout and sing merrily the song of life, i would love to flirt with every good looking girl that i meet but every simple wish fails to materialise because of my inability to speak in a articulative and/or impressive manner. How can i narrate the trauma that i experience in a social situation when everybody seems to be so beautiful in their speech except me?!
NO..its not stammering. Stammering can be cured and even if it is not, many stammerers happily cruise through life as if nothing is wrong with them. I have 2 stammerers in my family and they are quite happy. But my problem is..what we call in medical parlance.. more pervasive and interfering with my day-to-day activites so much that i feel like avoiding things that all of my friends and relatives do well..in a smooth fashion. I will call it "neuro-oral-motor" disorder. That is the only way i can describe it rightly.

I have more to write and reveal. My next post will contain the remaining analysis. Right now, i have just one request..plz stay with me guys.